I've been in a relationship for over 5 years now. We are engaged and have been for 3 years. We fully intend to be legally married one day but we are waiting until we are both finished school and are able to live on our own. We knew two years into our relationship that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together so we figured why wait to make it official. Now, despite the fact that we are married in spirit our relationship is constantly glossed over because we do not have a binding legal document. Before you read any further, if you are not familiar with Jeremy and I then I will give you a primer; neither of us are religious, we've both discussed in detail our plans for a wedding and we plan on having only a reception (for lack of a better word, it's just going to be a fancy party) and to have a chic 60's style court house wedding. This is the way we're going to celebrate when the time comes but right now we're in engagement limbo.
I've read on a lot of message boards that people think your engagement is a sham if there is no wedding date set. I think that is outdated drivel, an engagement is a commitment, a verbal contract of sorts. We've made said verbal agreement therefore we are engaged.
|See, we're legit I have a ring. According to De Beers your engagement isn't real if your man doesn't get you a diamond ring...(that's sarcasm folks)|
Perhaps some of the fault is my own when it comes to what I call Jeremy. I loathe the term fiance, it reminds me of that Seinfeld scene (see the video below)
You can understand my reluctance I'm sure. The word "boyfriend" sounds too flippant for a long term relationship, let alone to an engaged couple. The alternatives aren't any better, they include: my intended, betrothed, my other half (I was not split in two) and most cringingly, my man. I just introduce him as Jeremy, and thankfully I am enough of a hermit where I don't need to introduce him that often.
Much to our chagrin we've both been refereed to as single. Once at a wedding (I will save my dislike for them in another post) I was encouraged to catch the bouquet with the other teenage girls, and widows. I don't see myself as single but we're not legally married. A lot of people don't see gray.
I'm fortunate that at least my parents and my Mommom respect our relationship, I think I'd go crazy if I didn't have them in our corner.
To all my not so single ladies, those who are having long engagements or those who don't feel the need to jump through all the traditional hoops, what do you have to say?